Should A Aspiring Influencer Pal Stop Exploiting People for Material?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?